Answering Back to the Inner Critic.

*Being incompatible doesn’t mean I’m not enough.”

That lyric from Ike Dweck’s ‘The Truth Is’ has been echoing in my mind ever since I heard it. It’s simple, but it cuts straight through one of the most persistent lies my inner critic likes to tell me, that when something doesn’t fit, it must be because I’m lacking.

For years, I’ve confused incompatibility with inadequacy. If a relationship faltered, if a conversation felt strained, if a role didn’t suit me, the critic inside rushed to declare that I was the problem, that I wasn’t enough. It’s a verdict that comes quickly, without evidence, and it leaves me carrying shame that doesn’t belong to me. The truth is, incompatibility is not proof of failure. It’s simply a mismatch of rhythms, values, or timing.

I think about the spaces where I’ve tried to contort myself into fitting, believing that if I just worked harder, softened more, or erased parts of myself, I could make it work. But the lyric reminds me that forcing compatibility is not the same as being worthy. Sometimes the healthiest, most honest thing we can do is acknowledge that the fit isn’t right, and let that be okay.

This doesn’t mean the critic goes silent. It still whispers that I should have been different, that I should have been more. But I’m learning to answer back. Incompatibility doesn’t mean inadequacy. It doesn’t mean I’m broken or unworthy. It simply means that not every space, not every person, not every rhythm is mine to belong to.

And maybe that’s the gift hidden inside incompatibility. It points us toward the places where we do belong, the relationships where our presence feels natural, the roles that allow us to thrive. It teaches us that being “enough” isn’t about fitting everywhere, it’s about standing whole in the spaces that honor who we are.